The CrackedOut Adventures of Gin and Baby Shiro
by ObsidianSilversmith
Summary: Gin is bored and decides that Hitsugaya is the perfect target for his foul play. Shiro becomes a baby and everything goes wrong...
1. Potion? What Potion?

Kurotsuchi Mayuri could be a man of many things. The very sun could never wait as long as he. The very stars above would fall before he gave up on his goals. His patience knows no bounds.

And yet...he choked on the urge to strangle one Ichimaru Gin until the smile froze forever.

"What does this do?"

Kurotsuchi froze, hands above his keyboard. Praying that it would not be something vital to his beloved work, he turned.

Gin held a miniscule vial in his paw, erm, hand.

The label-written in Kurotsuchi's native English-read "Gin-be-Gone". The purpose of the potion seemed apparent, but memory failed him.

"It's a po-" Kurotsuchi's mind illuminated with bright possibilities. "It's a birthday present for you. Your lieutenant commissioned it."

'That would be a start, but I need a-oh yes!'

"Why don't you find out what it does?"

'There, I may finish in peace.'

Gin's grin widened. Eyelids fluttered. His paw tightened. Something wicked spun in his thoughts.

Sweat formed above pale brows. Whatever deeds-malformed, injust,cruel-deemed worthy by this madman would forever go unpunished. That, could only be classified as the way of the world around Ichimaru Gin.

No one asked, those affected never told.

"I think I will..."

The tones of this will change as the story progresses and will switch, even within the chapters. Ja!


	2. Oopsy Daisy

AN/: I have absolutely no idea why I am posting this chapter since I hate it. Lo siento about it being two weeks late, I tried hard to write a chapter I found acceptable, but alas, I could not...Oh, Gin-speak is translated into plain English within a double parentheses. Well, JA! *all ideas are welcome =D

Hitsugaya-Taicho ignored the wealth of gifts bestowed upon Ichimaru. Though few acknowledged the fox, the binding ribbons of polite society choked them into compliance. How rude it would be to not celebrate a fellow captain's 'birthday.'

Ichimaru-Taicho's would be no different. So, here he stood before said Captain's door, present in hand; waiting for Ichimaru to open the front door so he could leave.

"Toshiro, coul'ja ((could you)) come in 'ere ((here)) for a moment?" The door opened.

Curses nearly came to tongue as Hitsugaya-Taicho looked to where the bastard stood smiling smugly...mockingly...

Trusting himself to damn it all, Hitsugaya bit his lips before entering the party.

He counted the agonizing steps to the door where the damn fox leaned. 'One...Two...Three...' He slanted the glare at the oblivious Captain of Squad Three. 'Get on with it.'

Warm hands clenched around his forearms. Aquamarine flashed quickly before Hitsugaya found himself in a different room, trapped by arms too strong for their appearance.

"Welcome to Hell."

Crystals formed in the air, crowning Ichimaru's head as he uncorked the vial. It only made sense to test the potion on an enemy. Knowing Mayuri, it'd most likely prove fatal to Lil' Shiro, but who really cared?

Gin ignored the tiny voice in the back of his mind. 'That bug needed to be squished from the start...Really, who needs a conscience? They just get in da way of all da important stuffs.' He shoved the vial's mouth in to Toshiro's.

Within seconds Hitsugaya's choking gasps silenced.

Gin shook him.

And he didn't begin to breathe.

So, Gin slapped him.

And still he didn't begin to breathe. O.O. Oops.

Panic began to fill the captor as his own breathing faltered painfully. He'd killed Lil' Shiro! Even worse, KUROTSUCHI HAD TRIED TO KILL HIM!

A ring at the door brought Gin out of his homicidal spiral.

'Shit. Imma gunna die. Wait, I am not going to die. Now all I have to do is...is...is...SHIT!'

"Screw this, I am gone!"

And so Gin left the body of Hitsugaya Toshiro laying on his kitchen floor after throwing a strong Kidou around the place. He'd be back later...after he'd calmed down enough to deal with the body.


	3. Dramatic Irony

AN:/ Sorry once again for this crap that spouts from my pencil. I hate it. I don't remember why I'm writing this either. Oh wait, my friend Va-Chan asked me to...drats. Anyways. I have a poll on my profile and would be pleased if people would vote. I am writing a new set of one shots(most are never posted) and need a clue as to who to cast in the role of some of the seven deadly sins. Thanks for reading this suckiness. JA!

Groaning, Gin tried to silence the nagging voice in his mind. The damn thing wouldn't shut up about anything he did but now it crescendo-ed into a cacophony of screams and insults. Something about Toshiro vaguely caught his attention before he tuned out again and focused upon the setting sunlight.

'Maybe I could escape to Mexico?'

_'Nah, I culdn' see yah dere.'_

'I thought I told'ja ta shut up?'

_'Didn' werk. I'm yah! Anyhow, yah cain't leave Lil Shiro's body jus' layen' dere. It ain't right.'_

Not at all weirded out by speaking-*ahem*losing an argument*ahem*-with himself, Gin merely stood with a great sigh of defeat.

He took one last tentative glance around the place where, as children, he and Rangiku played. The memories flooded back, drowning him with despair. The bluest skies melded into graying hills, white cloud-like roses, and faint smells of orange blossoms. They often joked about their secret paradise, their Eden, their home. Being part of them. Should either die, the place would lose all color and scent. It would reek of barren rot...

Because he killed the only other person his Ran-chan cared for, he would carry the cool, lifeless flesh and beg her to kill him as well...he couldn't live to see her cry...

Closing eyes of the sky's hue, Gin flashed to his home. Immediately something felt off. Something-or one-was inside.

Shattering the door, Gin drew Shinsou only to drop his jaw.

"Well, _that_ is unexpected."


	4. That Was Unexpected

Date Written: 28 January 2012

Date Published: 31 January 2012

Word Count: 320

Dedication: To the people who waited so long...Thank you. :D

* * *

Chapter Four:

Gin's jaw dropped as the splinters fell about the floor only to be coated in a thin sheathing of ice. Baby. Shiro. Baby. Shiro.

Shiro was a baby.

This defied all the laws of nature previously known to him. And he knew a lot of them despite not knowing the proper way to say anything. Well, he knew * how *, he just lacked the motivation. Yeah...let's go with that...

Anyway, back to the issue at hand.

Shiro was a baby.

In the hands of Hanataro no less. Gin scratched his head, puzzling himself over when he'd put his sword away and just how _Hanataro _of all people broke the kido around his place. Huh, he hadn't known the kid had it in him.

"Ichimaru...Is this because of you?" The young fourth squad member glared at him. Of course it didn't faze him much...it just didn't seem right on the Flower's face. It seemed creepy. And that was coming from _him._

Ichimaru shrugged, holding out his arms for the baby trying to get away from his outstretched arms. "Dunno. I gave 'im a potion, and he got like that."

"You. Freaking. Idiot." It was the loudest he'd ever heard the meek healer get...but it was barely a whisper compared to Aizen's morning shouts of 'where the fuck be* mah tacos!' Hanataro hoisted baby Shiro up higher on his hips, grimacing slightly, before taking in a deep sigh of resignation. "At least the potion will wear off soon..." He turned to leave.

Gin's ears twitched. Well, they would have had he been a fox. "Wut? If that's the case..."

"I give it about 24 to 36 hours before he transforms back."

Gin grabbed Hanataro by the shoulder, spinning him so that they faced.

Hanataro squeaked, all former semblances of badassness gone. He apparently didn't like where that grinning idiot seemed to be going with this.

*that bad grammar is indeed done on purpose for humor-related stuff. :D


End file.
